Embracing the Unconscious Familiar for Purpose and Authenticity

As the year comes to a close, I’ve found myself reflecting on the gap between who I am today and the best version of myself I aspire to become. Progress toward purpose, career, or even authenticity isn’t always linear (annoyingly!). In fact, the path rarely looks like the neat and steady trajectory we imagine.

"The worst possible outcome for our personal development is that everything goes according to our plan." - Deepak Chopra

This year, despite my efforts to move forward, I’ve realized how much the familiar—those unconscious habits and emotions—can subtly hold us back. At first glance, they seem benign and sometimes sophisticated in nature, but their true weight often becomes visible only through deliberate reflection.

Recognizing Resistance to Growth

I experienced a profound realization recently during a reconnection with an old mentor. In their presence, as nice as it was to engage with them, I noticed how patterns from my past—seeking familiarity and unconscious labels—resurfaced. I was reverting back to the person I was when I had initially started mentorship with them. These patterns, though comforting, revealed an internal resistance to stepping fully into my authentic self. Whether it was doubt about achieving higher goals in my career or hesitations about expanding my creative work, these unconscious habits whispered, "Stay here, it’s safe."

But safety doesn’t always equal fulfillment. This resistance, rooted in a deep fear of failure or rejection, isn’t unusual—it’s human. Studies even show that 95% of our behaviors are driven by subconscious processes, including those tied to decision-making and change. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward creating a meaningful shift.

The Fear of the Unknown

For many of us, the fear of stepping outside our comfort zone prevents us from aligning our work with our purpose. It’s the small voice that second-guesses decisions or undermines confidence. This fear often masquerades as “practicality,” keeping us in roles or routines that don’t truly reflect who we are.

In my own experience, these fears have shown up as doubts about career transitions or reluctance to pursue bolder goals. I’ve learned that this fear isn’t something to suppress but to understand and transform. Neuroscience tells us that by consciously identifying fears, we weaken their hold on us, allowing the brain to develop new pathways toward growth and resilience.

Conscious Check-Ins: A Path to Authenticity

To overcome these limiting patterns, I’ve relied on intentional practices. Regular check-ins, through journaling, meditation, or mindful walks, have become a cornerstone of my growth. These moments create space to ask crucial questions like:

• Am I acting from fear or authenticity right now?
• What habits are no longer serving my purpose?
• How can I align my actions with my highest goals?

It’s during these practices that I’ve found clarity and a renewed sense of direction. In fact, employees who reflect on their work weekly show a 23% increase in productivity, according to research published in Harvard Business Review. Reflection not only grounds us but also sharpens our focus on what truly matters.

Transforming Resistance into Power

Acknowledging my unconscious fears has been transformative. Rather than seeing them as barriers, I now view them as opportunities to grow. Resistance is a signal—it points to the areas where we’re being called to evolve.

For example, when I hesitated to take on the challenge of publicly posting more about myself and the work we do at www.renova.coach , I reframed my fear as an invitation to step into my potential. By leaning into discomfort and aligning with my core values, I found not only success but deeper fulfillment and really feel abundantly creative in sharing my experience with others.

Closing the Year with Purpose

As I step into a new year, I carry gratitude for the lessons my unconscious patterns have taught me. They’ve shaped my resilience and deepened my commitment to authenticity in both my work and life. Purpose isn’t something we stumble upon; it’s something we co-create through awareness and action.

To those reading this, I leave you with this reflection: What unconscious patterns are holding you back from living and working authentically? And how might you transform them into stepping stones toward your highest potential?