What if I told you that the things you avoid in silence are the same things dictating every major decision you make?

We love to believe we’re making choices from logic and strategy. But let's be truly honest with ourselves, more often than not, we’re being driven by unconscious fears—buried deep beneath the surface, waiting for a moment of stillness to rise.

If you want to understand what’s really running your life. Just stop! Get quiet. The discomfort that emerges? That’s what’s in control.

When Life Forces You Into Stillness

For years, I prided myself on my work ethic. Lee the visionary on a mission to change the world. Hustle was my identity. If I wasn’t grinding, moving, and pushing forward, I felt like I was falling behind which equated to instant failure as a human being.

Then, life stripped away everything I thought defined me.

Within two months, I lost what felt like the love of my life, my business, my savings, and my investments. The future I had built in my mind collapsed, and for the first time, there was nothing left to distract me.

No late-night work sessions. No back-to-back calls. No inbox demanding my attention.

Just silence.

And in that silence, an uncomfortable question surfaced—one I could no longer outrun:

What if I don’t actually know where I’m going? Worse yet: What if I don't actually know who I am?

Why Stillness Feels Unbearable

Neuroscience shows us that the brain craves certainty. We rely on habitual thinking patterns to maintain familiarity and avoid discomfort—even if those habits are keeping us stuck.

According to research on default mode network (DMN) activity, when we slow down, our brain surfaces unresolved fears, uncertainties, and misalignments. This is why silence can feel unbearable—it exposes the internal conflict we’ve been avoiding.

But here’s the game-changer:

The discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s the key.

When we stop running from our thoughts, we gain clarity on what’s actually been controlling our behaviors. And only then can we start making choices from a place of power, not avoidance.

And just think about that incredible gift. We have a biological and neurological system that automatically presents things we need to resolve in our lives when we make space for them.

How to Stop Letting Fear Control Your Decisions

The next time you sit in silence, don’t distract yourself. Instead:

1. Identify What You’re Avoiding

• Ask yourself: What thoughts or emotions am I avoiding? Write them down.
• Look at your life—your career, your relationships, your habits. Where have I been making reactive decisions to avoid discomfort? Recognizing patterns is the first step in breaking them.

2. Face the Fear Instead of Escaping It

• Instead of defaulting to avoidance (working more, scrolling endlessly, seeking validation), pause. Sit with the fear. Let it speak.
• The more you do this, the less control it has over you.

3. Challenge the Belief Behind the Fear

• Your fears come from old programming. Where did I learn this fear?
• If you fear slowing down means failure, ask: Is that actually true?
• The moment you challenge a belief, it starts to lose its grip.

4. Take One Action That Contradicts Your Fear

• If you fear taking a break, schedule one.
• If you fear speaking up, say something bold.
• The action itself rewires your subconscious, proving to your brain that the fear is an illusion.

The Breakthrough Is in the Silence

Your biggest breakthrough is hidden in the stillness you keep avoiding.

The question is: Are you ready to stop running and finally listen?

At Renova, we help professionals break free from unconscious patterns, redefine success, and align their careers with their true purpose.

Want to start? Join our community and take the first step toward rewiring your mind for clarity, fulfillment, and authentic success.

👉 Explore Renova Now: www.renova.coach