We love a public victory.

The career milestones. The brand deals. The viral moments.
The “you made it” energy.

But what we rarely talk about is the private weight behind public success.
And what happens when that ever so crucial weight hasn’t been tended to.

The recent conversation around Shannon Sharpe is just the latest reminder: Shannon Sharpe, on the verge of securing a $100M sponsorship deal, faced a massive public fallout after accidentally leaking a private recording on Instagram.

Shortly after, a $50M sexual assault lawsuit surfaced, forcing him to step back from his rising media career.

The incidents revealed how unresolved personal patterns can undermine even the most public successes.

It’s a powerful reminder: your private work always catches up to your public life.

Your shadow doesn’t disappear just because you’re winning.

It waits. Quietly.

Until you’re too visible to hide. Until the stakes are too high to pretend.
Until the spotlight reveals not just your talent—but what you’ve avoided.

The Upper Limit: When Your Nervous System Doesn’t Feel Safe With Success

In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks describes the Upper Limit Problem.

It’s the subconscious thermostat in your mind that sets the maximum level of happiness, love, and success you believe you’re allowed to have.
And when you cross it?

You self-sabotage.
You create drama.
You unconsciously invite chaos.

Not because you’re weak.
But because some part of you doesn’t feel safe sustaining that next level.

Especially when the internal work hasn’t caught up with the external wins.

What Is Shadow Work—and Why It Matters More Than Ever

The shadow isn’t evil.
It’s simply the parts of you you hid to survive.
These are the parts of yourself that others label as excessively sensitive, too proud, too emotional, or too much.

Shadow work isn’t just a therapy buzzword.
It’s emotional integration.

It’s the difference between appearing whole—and actually being whole.

And without it?

You build.
You scale.
You achieve.

But you don’t feel safe in any of it.

Eventually, the unresolved parts surface.
And usually, they do when it’s the hardest to recover—when the stakes are high, the eyes are many, and the fallback plans are long gone.

How I Learned This the Hard Way

I know this firsthand—because I’ve lived it.
Not once. But multiple times.

I remember being on holiday with who I thought was the absolute love of my life.
My business was thriving. My team was capable. Money was flowing effortlessly.

I remember lying there in our hotel room, the sun setting, the air heavy with peace.
For a brief, breathtaking moment, I thought:
“Life is perfect.”

No more than five minutes later, it all changed.

In a moment of self-sabotage—still carrying unresolved patterns and insecurities—I made choices I deeply regret.
Still swiping on dating apps whilst being on holiday together. I continue to yearn for something beyond myself, despite having everything I need.

I got caught.
And what followed was the most devastating:

• This marked the end of the relationship I believed was my future.
• The collapse of the business I'd poured my life into was devastating.
• I was devastated by the loss of investments that I had worked years to build.

All within two months.

It didn’t unravel because I wasn’t capable.
It unravelled because I hadn't integrated those long-lost and repressed parts of me.
I hadn’t done the deeper work to hold the life I was building.

And the truth is?
Success revealed the cracks that survival mode had hidden.

The Cost of Skipping the Work

We’re not here to critique public figures—or ourselves—for being human.
We are all human.

But we are here to notice the pattern:

When success outpaces self-relationship...
You perform rather than process.
You posture instead of pause.

And eventually, what was private spills into public.

The saddest part?
Instead of receiving recognition for your growth journey, your shadow moment labels you. And just like that, your whole reputation is now on the line if not already permanently damaged.

So What Do We Do Instead?

At Renova, we believe public success without private self-connection is a setup.

Here’s how to live differently:

1. Track when things feel “too good”.
That’s often when the upper limit shows up.
Pause. Ask:
"What part of me feels unsafe here?"

2. Stop separating emotional work from professional work.
They are the same.
Your leadership, creativity, and resilience are only as strong as your self-awareness.

3. Tend to your shadow daily—not just in breakdowns.
Journal your shame.
Get curious about your triggers that come up in your day-to-day.
Practice self-forgiveness in the micro so the macro doesn’t implode.

4. Make self-belonging your baseline.
If you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, receiving external validation will never feel secure.

Purpose Demands Integration, Not Perfection

When people unravel in public, it’s rarely about that moment.
It’s about all the moments they didn’t tend to in private.

This isn’t a call to hide.
It’s a call to integrate.

To slow down and ask yourself:
"What do I need to face before it confronts me?"

Because your greatest threat isn’t being seen.
It is not integrated enough to stay rooted when you are.

And your greatest power?
It lives in the quiet work you do when no one is watching.

That’s the really big leap.